Recently, we got to hear how a young man of 21 stabbed a young lady on campus (22) for rejecting him. Hearing the cries of the young lady as she was dying, people caught the young man and handed him to the police.
This caused me to reflect on the two lives that were lost and destroyed. The young life of the lady that was snipped before it could bloom and the one of the young man who murdered her has been destroyed. Two families have been forever impacted adversely. Why was the young man not able to accept that the young lady was no longer interested in him? Instead of being filled with rage at being rejected, he could have rationalised that she had every right to move away from him and that all our journeys are different and we need to respect other people’s diverse ways of thinking and their personal journeys.
As parents, we often push our children towards success as it is natural to want to see our children succeed and doing well in life. However, we would be wise to take the opportunity of moments of failure and rejection to teach lessons that centre around the below:
Life will have moments when we feel beaten. If there is an interview with 5 candidates, only one will taste victory, the other four will have to accept rejection. In the journey of life, there will be moments of rejection when potential life partners will not see us as their ideal but may wish to move on. This has to be respected and should not cause us to feel unworthy or in any way unfit. t
Failure is said to be the stepping stone of success. Thomas Edison succeeded in making the light bulb after failing several times. He said, I have not failed but I have just found have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Failure could make us feel low and dejected but the lessons are many. People who experience failure learn important lessons and it contributes to them finding new pathways to success.
Homes and schools should teach the lessons of failure that failure is part of the journey of success and that failure is not final. As adults, we can be role models for children and adolescents in accepting failure as part of life. Let us teach the lesson that failure is not the opposite of success, it is a part of success. Some ways to help our children when they deal with failure and rejection:
- Listen to your child in a non-judgemental manner.
- Help them to process their emotions of fear, disappointment dejection and anger.
- Listen to them intuitively, asking questions that make them open up and talk more rather than those that elicit a yes or no response. Listen to what is not being said.
- Be understanding and accepting
- Be appreciative of your child’s strengths
- Increase self-care activities.
- Emphasise activities that help them take their focus off the problem such as hobbies and favourite activities
As parents and educators, let us have a mindset that supports our children when they have failed and let us be open to talking about our own failures and rejections so that children can see this as a normal part of life. Let us share that if plan A does not work, there are 25 alphabets remaining to be utilised. When we talk openly about our own vulnerabilities, children will feel encouraged to speak out about their own vulnerabilities.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Momspresso.com. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and Momspresso does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.
Originally Written by Hema Vinod and Posted at Momspresso
